Neel Parikh

It feels like i’ve been waiting all my life for this to arrive.

In a market dominated by energy drinks, iChill promises to deliver the exact opposite. And why not, it’s just melatonin, valerian root, and some other goodies in a convenient (and probably overpriced) package. I’m not sure if it’s come to Canada yet, but I’ll definitely be checking it out next week when I return to the hideousness that is Vegas.

Today we mourn the loss of a dear old friend, the old Toronto Climbing Academy. Its a sad day indeed. We’ll all shed a tear as we head there tonight for one last send-fest. Tomorrow we’ll all shed some more tears, along with fresh skin, from the gritty, sandpaper-like walls of the new location (complete with dozens of leadable routes!). We’re pretty lucky to have so many fantastic climbing gyms in the GTA, and i’ve been fortunate enough to meet some great people along the way.

On a related note, if you’re in Toronto the weekend of the 26th to 28th, check out the Banff Mountain Film Festival. It’s guaranteed to impress, inspire, and leave you wondering why you’re sitting on your computer reading some obscure blog, while others are out there living their dreams.

Wake up at 3am… load up the car with plenty of warm clothes, charged camera batteries and a fresh memory card. Drive. Miss an exit. Take a U-Turn. Back on the right track. Drive some more. Miss another exit. Take another U-Turn. Back on the right track again. Drive some more. Get frustrated that a truck in front of you is driving too slow for you to enjoy the twists and turns of the ascent. Realize that you’re driving a rented Cobalt and that you’d probably break it if pushed it (but don’t worry, you’ll probably break it later in the trip anyway… more on that another time). Pass through a cloud layer. Arrive at the summit of Haleakala – 3055M (10,023 ft).

What’s unique about Maui’s Haleakala is that it’s one of the few places in the world that you can drive from sea level to over 3,000M without leaving the comfort of an exceptionally well paved road (and an exceptionally “meh” Chevy Cobalt). By the time we got to the summit it was about 5:15 AM. Plenty of time to enjoy a quick snack, bundle up, and stake out a good spot to watch an absolutely spectacular sunrise. A thick hoody and my trusty softshell were all I had… I mean, it’s Maui, how cold could it get? Well, apparently temperatures at the summit often dip below freezing, not to mention wind strong enough to make a tripod somewhat useless on my very non-aerodynamic camera.

For anyone looking to make the trip (which I highly recommend), there are two very easily accessible places to see the sunrise, the summit, and the vistor’s centre. The summit is a very short drive or a 15 minute(?) hike up from the vistor’s centre and has a glass walled hut that you can take shelter from the cold in. There are parking lots at both locations, although space up at the summit is limited.

The best weather to watch the sunrise at Haleakala is often when it’s crappy at sea level. The glow of the cloud layer turns a rather uninteresting rising ball of light into a pretty incredible sight. We were also lucky enough to catch the moon low on the horizon shorly before the sunrise, which put a big smile on my face!

What’s rather unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on how you want to interpret it), is that after sunrise, most visitors drive back down the volcano, have an IHOP breakfast, and sit on a beach working on their melanoma the rest of the day. An easy 4km hike down the aptly named Sliding Sands Trail into the crater (and a frustrating 4km hike back up), is definitely worth it. The crater’s landscape is littered with sand, boulders, and giant cinder cones which make you feel like you’re on a completely different planet. I think in total we only descended maybe 500M vertical, but the loose sand and scree made the hike back up daunting despite the relatively low grade. I guess I’m just out of shape! I’ve said it so many times before, but I really need to start doing some cardio – I’ll put that on my NY’s Resolutions list.

For those if you who found the Bacon Flowchart a tad bit gluttonous, i present to you a lower-calorie alternative, Bacon Flavoured Envelopes.

Yah i don’t get it either.

Back from Red River Gorge, which, although tonnes of fun, was a bit of a bust personally. We only got 3 days of basically “warmup” climbing in before the rain took over, and by the 2nd day, my right ring finger was a swollen red throbbing mess. A few days of ice, a few bottles of advil later, and the decision was made that there’ll be no more climbing for me for a while, at least nothing steep or crimpy. That does however lead to a pleasant part of RRG – I got to get on some easy trad pitches including my first lead on gear. While it was easy enough to solo, building up confidence in gear is a pretty gradual progression. I dropped about 4 grades from my sport redpointing max for my first lead, and threw on my trusty helmet. I guess these things come with practice, but there’s something unnerving about looking down at your harness to find the piece of gear you want to place, then noticing how far you’ve run out on nothing more than a red C3. A million things went through my head “i suck at hand jams”, “i wonder if i’m going to blow this foot placement”, “do i need a purple C4 or a green?”, “when is the Arrested Development moving coming out?” … oh Tobias, i <3 you. There's a whole new world of opportunity open now, and I'm excited to get on as many trad routes as I can. It's like learning how to climb all over again!

Rocktoberfest itself was a blast as usual, and I can't say enough good things about it. This year's Reel Rock Tour screening was BigUp’s Progression, which has set new standards for ANY climbing movie. Incredible cinematography, awesome soundtrack, and, of course, phenomenal climbing sequences from Sharma, Caldwell, Usobiaga, and the wonderchild Ondra. If you haven’t seen this, why are you sitting around reading this… go watch Progression!

. . . and what kind of people would we be if we bailed early from RRG due to bad weather without an impromptu detour to Chicago for some of Gino’s East’s famous deep dish pizza. terrible people, terrible people. that’s right. i said it.

So I’m back from Denmark and London and catching up on some work (yes I do work from time to time) and relaxing a little before hitting up Red River Gorge in Kentucky for Rocktoberfest! I’ve been itching to head back to the Red since last Rocktoberfest ’08, which was so much fun it should be illegal. Unfortunately last month my left ring finger decided I needed a break from climbing, as evidenced by a tendon and/or ligament that won’t let me crimp anymore. I took about 3 weeks off climbing, and then yesterday, thinking that everything was better, I did a single open handed pull-up on my hangboard. Much to my dismay, it appears that I still have some healing to do. It’s a good thing there’s so may jug hauls at the Red to keep me occupied. I suppose I should still take a bottle of Advil, just in case!


I also splurged a bit at a fantastic little store in Waterloo called Adventure Guide. The result was a set of BD Cams, Nuts, Hexes, and a new Bluewater 9.7mm rope. Hopefully I’ll make some good use of them on some easy trad climbs down in the Red.

I’m currently in Denmark for a few days for some business and thought i’d share a couple pictures I snapped outside my hotel in Skanderborg yesterday morning. Enjoy!

Jordan Harbour is a hidden gem near St. Catherines; not so much for the climbing, which is quite honestly put, very mediocre, but more for the sheer cool factor of climbing the ruins of a bridge built in the 1800s. The route descriptions we read before heading out gave a whole new meaning to the word “sandbagged”. There are a few interesting looking routes in the remains of the first and second arches, but the bricks seem to have disintegrated into a sandy mess, rendering all amount of chalk and brute force jug pulling completely useless. Beyond the arches lie a series of stone towers that rise out of a murky field of gigantic grass like tombstones. Giant bolted tombstones. These, thankfully, were much more pleasant to climb, primarily because the holds didn’t disintegrate on contact. Only one of the towers is really accessible by foot, as the other bolted tower sits in a swap that is probably only accessible by boat. All said and done, apart from a couple of bored teenagers throwing firecrackers off the bridge and smoking their grandmothers cigarettes, it was a fun afternoon of climbing and a pretty neat expedition in general.

It’s been a pretty miserable summer here in Toronto, and pretty much everywhere else on the east coast. It’s either raining or hot and humid, not really ideal conditions for doing anything but sitting at home with a cold drink watching videos of Dani Andrada doing pinky pullups, or completely owning Picacho (9b+?).. i swear, the man should just change his name to The Hulk.

Whenever the weather lets up a bit, I’ve been heading down to The Glen for some bouldering, where I’ve been working on a neat little cave problem with my buddy Daren. I’m not really much of a boulderer, but the Glen is nice and shady, so on those hot humid days, it’s so much better than a sun baked crag. That being said, I still haven’t made it up to Lion’s Head this summer, what a shame. I am on the other hand absolutely frikin’ stoked about Rocktoberfest down in Red River Gorge. It was an absolute blast last year, and I will kick you in the left nut if you try to stop me from going this year. Day 1 last year went something like this:

Friday, 9am: Wake up. Decide to skip work to get a bit of rest for the long drive ahead…. try going back to sleep… fail. Get up, pack up stuff.

12pm: Have some food… harass John and Justin to get off work early so we can hit the road. They both agree, and we decide to head out at 3pm.

3pm: Get to John’s place, tip toe through hairballs and other indistinguishable floor ornaments (for lack of better word). Pack up car, call Justin. Find out that Justin’s stuck at work. Try to sleep… fail… again.

8pm: Meet Justin at Bar Burrito. Declare that they should be ranked somewhere above taco bell, but somewhere below “recommended eating”. (see notes on Transitive Properties of Inequalities“)

12:30am: Cross the US border at Detroit, drive through some shady neighbourhoods while trying to link back onto I-75. Realize that going for burritos immediately prior to sitting in a car with Justin is an olfactory nightmare.

4:30am: Hand off driving to Justin. Try to sleep… fail… again.

6:30am: Pull into Miguel’s Pizza. Try to sleep… fail… sigh.

7am: Breakfast

8am: Hiking up Roadside Attraction.

9am: At the top of my first route ready to clean anchors. Look at my harness, no draws, no atc.

9:03am: Guy on the route next to me tosses me an ATC and a sling. Thanks, random guy on route next to me… Game on!

9:06am: On the ground again. time for another 5 hour energy drink

The rest of the weekend just got better and better with a great party, bouldering comp, free schwag, clinics, a screening of the Sharp End, and a whole bunch of money going toward the RRG Climbers Coalition. Be there, or be somewhere else. But be warned, if you’re somewhere else, you’re missing out.

“… total commitment. Execution. Perfection.” That’s what freesoloing means to Alex Honnold. Here’s an interview with Honnold from last year. The man has balls of steel – I don’t even know where to begin. Take a look at the caption on the picture at the top of the article. If you need inspiration and motivation, that’s where you get it… when you’re struggling on a multipitch 5.10d crack, and all of a sudden, Alex Honnold sneaks up behind you at a belay station… “Hey, I’m Alex, I don’t have a rope.. all I have is this chalk bag, some protein bars, and oh yah, my balls of steel, do you mind if I pass you?”. Not exactly verbatim, but you get the point. Forget being ridiculously physically strong, I’d love to have that kind of mental strength. That’s right, I want Alex’s balls (of steel). There, i said it.

Here’s a pretty cool video of the man in action at Indian Creek.